Sunday, December 25, 2011

The Birthday that I celebrated on 25th December.

The 25th of December is the Birthday of Sir Isaac Newton http://www.churchofreality.org/wisdom/holidays/holidays/newtons_birthday_-_crispness.html. Today, is the 25th of December & since morning I have been receiving Merry Christmas greetings:- directly, through SMS, phone calls, on my Facebook wall , and through E Mails.It apparently is the birthday of some weirdo called Jesus Christ on whose behalf a funny fat fool called Santa distributes gifts. Santa has never given me any gifts, while Newton has given some really memorable ones. Since early morning I have been explaining to my daughter Vaishnavi & Son Vinayak about the Life and the Contributions of Newton. Now, I really should explain who Isaac Newton was: since the world seems to be singularly unaware of this.I shall also shed some light on the Life & Contributions of Jesus Christ since it will help other ignoramuses like me.


Let's have a comparison between the lives of the two:-

The Conception of Jesus Christ.

Jesus Christ was conceived in the womb of Mary  
  
through the efforts of the Holy Spirit(The Bird in the top right corner):

The mother of Isaac Newton was Hannah Ayscough, and father was Isaac Newton Senior who died before his son's birth. The method of conception is nowhere mentioned, so I assume it was the normal original sin method. Birds were definitely not involved. 


The Birth of Jesus Christ: His birth involved a hell of a hoopla. A Star apparently came over a manger in Bethlehem Palestine. Stars as we all know are really suns having a great deal of Heat, radiation and Gravitation. All this got controlled!!! Then three wise men from the East came chasing that star burnt frankincense and did some other nonsense as well.

The Birth of Isaac Newton : Perfectly normal delivery may be assumed. No stars, no wise or unwise men from any direction.


Now, let's consider the contributions:-


1) Jesus Christ chased devils out of Human Beings.
1) Isaac Newton established the science of spectroscopy by discovering that white light is made up of seven components. He also discovered the phenomenon called Newton's Rings.


2)Jesus Christ transferred devils into swine.
2) Isaac Newton invented the reflecting telescope.


3)Jesus Christ walked on water.

3) Isaac Newton discovered The Law of Gravitation and thereby explained the motion of planets in their orbits, he explained the phenomenon of tides, showed that the earth must be bulged at the equator because of it's rotation, and also computed the bulge , long before it was measured. Newton helped to compute the orbit of the comet of 1682, which was named after Edmund Halley - a personal friend of Newton.



4) Jesus came back from the dead after three days.
4) Newton discovered the Three Laws of Motion:-
    
  1. First law: The velocity of a body remains constant unless the body is acted upon by an external force.
  2. Second law: The acceleration  of a body is parallel and directly proportional to the  force  and inversely proportional to the mass.
  3. Third law: The mutual forces of action and reaction between two bodies are equal, opposite and collinear.
5) Jesus flied up in the sky along with the devil.
5) Newton proved that it was possible to launch a satellite that would circle the earth indefinitely.

6) Jesus Christ asked his followers to eat his flesh and blood.
6) Isaac Newton discovered the Binomial Theorem.

7) Jesus Christ used to tell tales called parables.Mostly childish tales of varying degrees of value.
7) Newton invented "Fluxions" which we now know as differential and integral calculus.

Besides all this, for the last 24 years of his life Newton was the President of the Royal Society a distinguished body of scientists and philosophers. Jesus Christ founded, and continues to guide The Roman Catholic Church:- An international gang of Criminals & Paedophiles. Newton made other seminal contributions as all science students will remember:- The Newton-Raphson method, The Newton-Gregory interpolation formula. He also worked on Heat, and was the founder of the Corpuscular Theory of Light.

Newton wrote the Principia http://www.archive.org/details/newtonspmathema00newtrich and also the Opticks http://www.library.usyd.edu.au/libraries/rare/modernity/newton.html .

Jesus Christ didn't write any book as far as I know.

Lastly, there are people who celebrate Newton's birthday on January 4, and Jesus Christ's on January 6th.

                                                                                                                         --- Champak